SABIDURIA DE CONFUCIO
1. Si no puedes convencerlos, confúndelos.
2. La verdadera felicidad esta en las pequeñas cosas: una pequena mansion, un pequeño yate, una pequena fortuna...
3. Un negro en la nieve es un blanco perfecto.
4. Lo importante no es ganar. Lo que importa es competir, sin perder ni empatar.
5. La "verdad" no es lo que importa... sino TENER la razón.
6. Tener la conciencia limpia es signo de mala memoria.
7. Hay un mundo mejor... pero es carísimo.
8. El que es capaz de sonreír cuando todo le esta saliendo mal, es porque ya tiene pensado a quien echarle la culpa.
9. Si buscas una mano dispuesta a ayudarte, la encontraras al final de tu brazo.
10.Si no puedes distraerlos... mándales un e-mail.
19 Things That Make Sense
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
16. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
19. Your friends love you anyway.
I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big
campfires.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
Guns do not make you a killer.* I think killing makes you a killer.
I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.
I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers.
The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like
the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment
Television, and Miss Black America.
Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund,* Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America and see what happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.
I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.*
When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the law of statistics.
I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it.
I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English!
As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen you should have to speak English!
My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can
leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.
I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if
you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand
the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.
I know what the definition of lying is.
I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are
qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank
loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket
store, or any other business.
We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document and open to their interpretations ...
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television, and that doesn't stop you from watching them.
I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building.
Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.
It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid and smack their little ass' when necessary and say "NO."
"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And Please stay home until that new lip ring heals, I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as youserve me french fries!
I am sick of "Political Correctness" and of all the suck ups that go along with it.
I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in
And if you don't like my point of view, tough!
(Andy is 83 and entitled to his opinion)+
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